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July 17, 2005

The Fantastic Four

It's Sunday, I've missed Friday's post. There was a thunderstorm on Thursday afternoon that's knocked out my internet(which is still out), so I was unable to post. I would've like to posted this on Friday morning with the hope of preventing you from going to see the worst comic book movie I've ever seen but that didn't happen. Now I can only hope that you still haven't seen it and my message reaches you in time.

That's right I said, "the worst comic book movie I've ever seen", even ahead of the two Joel "Nipple Armor" Schumacher Batman's. His are actually worse movies but because Fantastic Four was made after those and they should've learned how he single handedly destroyed a movie franchise, I'm moving Fantastic Four to the top of the list.

Enough of that, Fantastic Four is soo bad for the following reasons:

1. It's the Fantastic Four: Who reads this comic anymore, if you're going to make a superhero movie choose some interesting characters, there's enough to choose from. I blame greedy credit taker Stan "It was all me" Lee for probably pushing this into development.

2. From the director of Barbershop and Taxi: Are you kidding me, is that the best they can do? I suppose and decent director took a look and the grade school level script and walked away.

3. The script: Sooo bad. The dialog and character development is almost non existent. Hitting you over the head again and again, Mr. Fantastic - Geek, Ben Grimms - Angry, Human Torch - show off...and so on. And where is the action, it's a superhero movie lets see some action.

4. Mr. Fantastic's head is enormous: His head is so huge that it's distracting. If you end up watching the movie try to estimate the percent of screen space Reed Richard's head takes up. Hopefully it's just his hair style, either that or actor Ioan Gruffudd's neck has gotta be pretty sore from lugging around that giant watermelon of a head all day.

I could go on and on but really it's just too easy. With all the progress Batman Begins may have made to changing the general public's opinion that comic book movies are childlike fluff and not to be regarded as a "real" movie, Fantastic Four manages to wipe out and possibly regress in less than 106 mins.

I think the MPAA should change their rating of this film which is currently rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action, and some suggestive content.

Intense action... that's totally misleading.

Posted by hypnobee at July 17, 2005 8:38 PM