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September 25, 2005

Free Magnet

I came home from work to find a door hanger with a free magnet on it.

Top 10 Reasons to check out RIVER CITY CHURCH

10. Rockin’ live music every Sunday!

Rockin' music...alright I'm listening...You better not being using the apostrophe trying to act cool. I swear the second I hear Creed I'm outta there.

9. Dress casual – come as you are!

Well which is it... come as you are or dress casual. Right now I'm not wearing any pants. I feel most casual when I have my shirt without sleeves on.

8. Enjoy Canada’s favourite cup of coffee.

I don't drink coffee and I don't know what Canada's favourite cup of coffee is. I could assume that it's Tim Hortons and that would definitely get some butts in the seats. It's probably just clever wording, Canada's favourite cup of coffee is a black cup of coffee....ahah! you Tim Horton's junkies just got up early on Sunday for a cup crappy coffee!!

7. Continental breakfast served every morning.

Continental breakfast...could there be any wider description of the term breakfast. Anyone who's stayed at any number of motels offering a continental breakfast knows what I mean. A cup of coffee and juice are pretty standard after that who knows. I believe in most cases the food available is inversely proportional to how hungry you are.

6. A great place to meet people.

They pack you into seats where you sit closer to someone then in the backseat of a car and there's a mandatory handshake. If that's not icebreaker city I don't know what is, now if that guy at the front would just shut up for 5 minutes I could make my move.

5. Cool Kid’s programs.

I hate Cool Kids.

4. Creative services that are sure to touch your heart and awaken your spirit.

Ahhh the catch... I knew this coffee and week old bagel with margarine came with a catch. Ohh look fresh shiny matching track suits for everyone.

3. Topics that are relevant to YOUR life.

Something tells me that they should've used the words "should be" instead of "are" because I'm pretty sure they're not going to be talking about last week's episodes of Survivor or Lost.

2. Did we mention the coffee and the continental breakfast?

Actually yes you did. This isn't much off a top 10 list if items 2, 7 and 8 can be combined into a single point. I mean c'mon that's 30% of your list. You're losing me.

1. Remove the MAGNETIC card below and find out (Below magnetic card, The #1 reason is…YOU!)

"You" what kind of a reason is that. I am not a reason to check out River City Church, that doesn't even make sense. It's just like Letterman's top 10 lists, #1 always sucks. Thanks but no thanks, I'll just keep my free magnet.


Posted by hypnobee at September 25, 2005 2:30 PM