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March 13, 2006

Soo Many Bad Movies

I haven't posted a movie review here in soo long. It's mainly because everything I've seen lately doesn't deserve the effort. I figured I've seen enough bad movies now that if I compress them all into a single post it might be worth it.

HOODWINKED - People knock the animation. I had no problem with the animation it was just a painfully drawn out movie (funny because it was only 90 minutes long). The only redeeming point was the always entertaing Patrick Warburton who voices the wolf. I hear they're making a sequel...joy!

UNDERWORLD EVOLUTION - Nowhere near as good as the first one. I appreciated the little catch up they did at the start of the movie to bring everyone up to speed but they should've handed out family tree charts so I could follow along for the rest of the movie.

ANNAPOLIS - I'm not sure this movie knew what it was about. It has some of the worst filmed boxing seen on the big screen ever.

FINAL DESTINATION 3 - I loved the first two but this one seemed way too gory and way too dumbed down and predictable with the whole photograph thing.

FREEDOMLAND - Just a mess. Not entertaining at all.

ULTRAVIOLET - The more movie Milla Jovovich does the more it seems the Resident Evil (only the first one) and The Fifth Element were just flukes. This movie was "give a 7th grader 50 million bucks to write and direct his own movie" bad.

16 BLOCKS - Bruce Willis as Bruce Willis in a movie that Bruce Willis is always in! I don't have a problem with Bruce Willis and usually enjoy whatever he's in. This was probably the best movie I've seen so far this year. I don't know if I could recommend it though, I was just throwing that out there as a guage on how bad the movies have been this year. Too bad the ending was so transparent.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES - If the movie was one tenth the preview made it out to be this movie would've been great. Instead it was boring and predictable. The director uses the same tricks (unsuccessfully) over and over to build tension. The opening credits filled with stock footage of nuclear explosions and pictures of mutated babies is about as good as it gets for this piece of garbage.

FAILURE TO LAUNCH - That's right I saw it. You got anything to say about that? Wanna Fight? Also it was a brutal chick flick which women seemed to find enormously entertaining for some reason.

Next up. V for Vendetta.

Posted by hypnobee at March 13, 2006 6:00 AM


Perhaps you would have a more accurate view of movies if you managed to stay awake during them (Underworld: Evolution, Ultraviolet). Though I do agree Ultraviolet sucked ass. How can women have found Failure to Launch so funny?!? I still am perplexed by that. Apparently all it takes to be a ladies man, is to have a southern accent. Shit! When did inbreeding become attractive?!

Posted by: Bacala at March 13, 2006 11:06 AM

You forgot the worst movie of all, Date Movie or did you erase that garbage from your memory already.

Posted by: paul at March 13, 2006 11:30 AM