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July 24, 2006

If You Don't Want Your Children To Go To Hell, You'd Better Beat Them

A New Zealand Christian group has put together a nice little pamplet providing some great tips for beating your children.

My personal favourite is "If the child is still angry after the smack, you have not smacked hard enough". You have to remember if you're going to smack your children that the day will come when they'll be big enough to kick your ass. So make sure that by the time you're done beating them that they're no longer angry with you and some day realize that you were just helping beat the sin out of them.

Another is "Smacking may be a 10-to-15 minute process". I wonder at what pace the spanking occurs if it can last for 10 to 15 minutes. If it's anything like when I was a child, the threat of, " You won't be able to sit down for a week when I'm done with you" would not sound like such a gross exaggeration. I'd imagine if a spanking was administered for 10 to 15 minutes, a threat of, "You'll never walk again when I'm done with you" would also sound pretty accurate.

[Link via Boing Boing]

Posted by hypnobee at July 24, 2006 1:16 PM